Saturday, April 02, 2005

S.A.D.

"Seasonal affective disorder, or SAD, is an affective, or mood disorder. Most SAD sufferers experience normal mental health throughout most of the year, but experience depressive symptoms in the winter. SAD is rare, if not nonexistent, in the tropics, but is measurably present at latitudes of 30°N (or S) and higher."

Seasonal Affective Disorder. its a real thing n it affects real ppl. like me, for instance.

every year, whenever the rainy season rolls around, most ppl wud celebrate the arrival of the lifegiving rains. not me. to me, the rainy (cold/wet) season is a time when i'm at my mental, emotional and physical worst; a time when i am lazy, hardly able to wake in the mornings, lethargic in thinking and actions; n irritable and depressed most of the time...

for several years now i've observed this trend - this 'drop' in my abilities n emotional functions; but there was nothing i could do about it. i wasnt even sure it is for real until i read about SAD. hopefully, writing about it will help lessen some of its effects, at least on the mental-emotional side. i found that writing or talking about my problems, even those considered insurmountable, always help reduce that feeling of frustration n helplessness...

the fact is, i am a person who is greatly affected by the weather. this might come as a surprise to most ppl who noe me including some of my closest frens, for it is a topic i never considered worth bringing up in conversation. anyway, it seems that i am stimulated (a lot!) by sunlight while dark n gloomy weather (or surroundings, such as the interior of my current classroom which my wretched classmates insist on keeping fully sealed to keep the air-conditioned coolness in) brings on almost immediate drowsiness. as for the emotional effects, i'm guessing it is becuz of hidden frustration becuz i noe there is nothing i can do about the lengthening nights n shorter, less bright periods of sunlight in the day...which inevitably affects my energy and alertness level, and hence my study performance.

did i forget to mention also that my fingers have this annoying way of drying up n becoming smooth, thus losing its natural 'grip' n making it a damn PIA to play the piano or turn pages of a book? these mite seem like small things but it relly takes its toll on my mood when suddenly the piano pieces that i play seem so much harder cuz my fingers keep slipping off the black keys...(yeah, i'm THAT crazy about my piano)...n as for the difficulting in turning pages, it makes referring back and forth that much harder when i'm studying...thus adding further to my frustration...

obviously, this damned weather also affects my mental 'coherence'...relly, i hv no idea wat i'm actually writing about...i juz noe i need to complain about it somewhere...but i suppose ppl who read this wun hv any idea wat i'm saying...i suppose this post IS a bit jumbled n confused cuz i hv difficulty arranging the facts - wat i want to write about n such - properly...yeah, it is THAT serious.

one last thing: now that u've read this, i suppose i can be excused for any inexplicable negative behaviour over the next few weeks?

3 comments:

Tan Sri said...

u shall also excuse me for being grumpy in commenting, for ur page makes me hv headaches:P
too contrasting
and also...... u seem to complain both when its too hot and when its too cold/wet...... god also have a problem entertaining u lah :P

queenlyd said...

muahaha.. he is right, you noe... both abt God having trouble satisfying ur demands and abt ur blog's colours...

sjune said...

well......pitiful shao ting sick now
does that mean that there's a high probablity of u snapping at me if i chat with u?