Saturday, July 17, 2010

probably the last post

ah well, life doesnt always go the way we want it to. and this blog is one proof of that.

the second last entry, posted somewhere around the new year, promised a new start to this blog... as well as a new start to my life. dunno bout the latter, but the former sure fell far short of expectations. the last post was supposed to be a 'temporary placeholder' while promising great blogging things to come. that certainly didnt come to pass.

anyway, the reason im here is, as usual, because of insomnia. i always do stuff like blogging, facebooking (as in non-mafia wars facebooking), photo uploading etc when im either too free n dont really have anything interesting to report on, or when once in a long while i get struck with sleeplessness n decide to turn on my computer after an hour or two of tossing n turning. guess when things r really happening i get too busy, tired or confused to write about them coherently n thus end up postponing indefinitely. anyway, tonight the japanese sake i drank seems to have robbed me of the ability to sleep, the complete opposite of what alcohol usually does to me. so here i am.

a brief update on whats been happening since beginning of this semester. sorry, not gonna go further back even tho last year was arguably THE year that changed me the most. first off, i got 'assigned' (for lack of a better word; even tho we got to list out our choices n i did get my first choice) to a lab, supposed to be Bioresource Lab of the bioengineering faculty but actually focuses on Metabolomics n Analytical Chemistry. got off on the wrong foot with the professor and as a result had to cancel my plans to visit sis's graduation ceremony n trip around the US in apr/may. things seem to have been mended somewhat, can only hope he's gonna keep his end of the bargain n write me a good recommendation for my graduate school application.

throughout the last few months if u ask what ive been doing, i cant really answer very well. on one hand nothing 'spectacular' or 'special' happened; i basically follow a routine of going to lab, doing research n the like, heading off to the gym after 'core time' is over, then spending the rest of the evening in the library. sometimes i go back to the lab for more reading. yup, my research involves lots of article reading n minimal experiments. i like having to think a lot; i just miss doing stuff that involves cell cultures, genes, live organisms n the like (my lab is mostly about chromatography, mass spectrometry etc... chemistry stuff).

anyway, so lab takes up a large part of my life nowadays. another thing that occupies a lot of my 'functional time' is iGEM. short for International Genetically Engineered Machines, its a competition held annually at MIT around november; last year i participated, got a TON of experience not just in research but also in interacting with my japanese teammates as well as getting a glimpse of life over there in the US; the jamboree, the main event held at MIT itself, was a hugely enlightening experience tho also immensely humbling as it brought me to full realization of how far ive been lagging behind other people of my age. so... yeah... meetings, reading articles, attending a workshop in Taiwan, wiki editing.... iGEM's been taking up a large part of my life too.

4th year bioengineering majors basically dont have classes. i have one this semester - Quantum Science. sounds grand doesnt it? its actually extremely basic stuff, totally walk-in-the-park compared to E&E majors' Quantum Mechanics; n the reason im taking it in 4th year is becuz i failed it in the 2nd year. apart from that, lab n lib all the time.

next week shall be the last week we r 'required' to go to the lab. after that its a month-long study break for the entrance exams which come end of august. somewhere around that time im also planning to take the GRE, so i'll b studying double-hard (dont really have to study THAT hard for entrance exam, but then the content is probably similar to what will come out in GRE Biochemistry which im planning to take to supplement my less-than-stellar undergrad results). already tho, it seems like quite a few events have been lined up for summer... i'll hopefully revisit this blog to write about them in the near future (2, 3 months later? :P)

anyway, whats the point of this blog, one might ask? i doubt people read this anymore. my fault, maybe, for not keeping this updated. i guess ive sort of grown detached from my 'online social life' which served to connect me with the people back home n my ex-japanese coursemates who r now mostly in universities around tokyo. i'd like to blame it on my hectic life, but in reality it isnt really that hectic at all. its just dull, dragging, wearisome and tiring in its repetitive, predictable way.

so i guess nobody's gonna stumble across this for a while. i suppose the reason im writing this (besides giving me a way to talk myself to sleep) is because. i need a record, a log, a snapshot of my life. something tells me this year's gonna pass by far too quickly, with many of these little dull things that engage me just enough to tire me out without being special enough to be memorable. so maybe around this time next year i'll be looking back upon this year and wondering what happened with it, where it went. blog posts like this, while seemingly random, disorganized and pointless, can actually serve as anchors for my memory. so hello there, future self.

ok, feeling the beginnings of drowsiness creeping up on me now, its time to turn off the PC, close my eyes n wait for the Sandman. adios.

ps. sorry im not good with photos, blogs with photos take a bit of planning n i tend not to do that with my posts.... i just fire up blogger n spill everything that passes thru my mind on nights like these.


Harry MacDowel said...

The same way for everybody within our circle nowadays la dude. I am the same too. No way a prolific blogger. We just type what we think. And that's true blogging to the spirit so I personally think you don't have to blame yourself.

I always love the notion of going crazy once in a while during dull times like that. But seriously speaking, the helplessness of serious society engulfing you which I had somehow noticed it in the distant past just always come back and gimme quite a setback. Maybe it's just Asia, you know. Generally speaking, Asians tend to be really a lot more conservative. Even taking alcohol is serious business.

So serious = maturity is what I've been thinking once I woke up today. I think that's a question that at least at this moment, I know there are 3 people will ask, which is WZ, you and me. I will try to do a deeper thinking to it while I am still breathing.

But hell yeah, lab life sucks. Not that really sucks, but it sucks your liveliness out of you slow, at the pace of a leech. But you do notice that you bleed, little by little. All you have to do is to get a life every once in a while. It's very crucial, especially to a dull lab life.

I will be dropping by Saku, a place near Tokyo from 11 august till 15th. On the morning of 15th, I will take the early morning train to Tokyo. So I am also wondering whether you want meet up during that period? Also good excuse to take a temporary leave.

Wan Ying Teoh said...

LOL. Your blog still pops up at the side of mine when you update it. So you know you do have some readers. But seriously, dude, I really do prefer your colorful posts years ago =P

raptor_ravenlord said...

wah, thanks for the comments! thought it would b at least months b4 anyone stumbles across my post lol

ghee> if i ever start worrying that im thinking too much, i can alwiz comfort myself with the fact that u think even more than i do ahahaha
u'll b in saku for ur aikido seminar rite? how long r u gonna b in tokyo after that?

wy> hmm were my posts ever colorful lol. mebbe i posted a few random pics once in a while but never got round to captioning them, etc... ahahah

Harry MacDowel said...

haha I think more so that I can think less. I am thinking lesser and lesser these days. In the end hopefully it will grind down to nothingness.

I'll be in Tokyo on 15th August, from morning till late afternoon. My plane departs on 6 pm.

Wan Ying Teoh said...

Got ah, i think that was way before my current blog. I remembered your pics on your new set of knives etc.

raptor_ravenlord said...

ghee> lol. u better not hope for something liddat. not thinking = dead!

so ur only gonna b in tokyo on the 15th. i'll see if i can make it...

wy> ah... that time i was sua pak kao, never see a nice set of knives liddat b4 mah... ahhahaa

Wei Zhi said...

darn an update!! xD i guess i shud not feel too proud to discover this since i am not the first one >.<

but hey, if u r thinking no one reads ur stuff u r dead wrong, i read people's blogs once a month at least, and if i see an update from you, i am gonna read it first each and every time cuz always din bump into u online for long chats =)

hope u and ghee have fun in tokyo, thats the stuff to break our monotonous routines. and take care man, really hope u nail GRE and take off to a new path in the states ^^

Lin said...

YO!! I also read blogs ok!! But come ur blog post sounds like what I would blog (my dull and monotonous life)?! =( Haven't been updating my blog as well...not that anyone noticed. LOL Sounds like you're having a very productive 4th year, unlike me...I don't even know what I gained. =/

I think this is probably too late but all the best for your GRE! =)