so i cant sleep again....big deal

damnit, ever since the 1 week of hols last week, ive been having trouble sleeping on time. 'on time' as in, before 3am (i do hv classes in da morning so hv 2 get up at 9.30 latest n catch d damned bus ya noe...!)

n 2 top it off da stupid weather's been nothing but rain these days.....n u guys out there, trust me when i say u wun wan 2 b in osaka during rainy summer days....its so fxxking humid dat even if d temp drops 1 or 2 degrees, u get all sweaty n sticky da moment u step out of d protective 'cone' of a fan......argh.....not 2 mention wet slippery ground n dat drowsy, lazy semi-nostalgic feeling dat pops up at d most inopportune times n takes away ur will 2 study.....

n 2 top things off, yesterday i committed a serious error in karate. punched my senior whack in the face. 4 those who duno karate sparring rules, face-punching is a no-no; tho it does detract from d 'realism' of sparring, thus raising a few questions about d effectiveness of sparring as training 4 real combat.... anyway i juz shot out my arm in a purely reflex action n apparently hit da senior hard enuf 2 give him a nose-bleed serious enuf 2 warrant a trip 2 da sch clinic. argh, i feel so foolish now.... hopefully its not gonna affect my future in da club.....


anyway. lately been wasting a lot of time. watching anime, watching movies, playing starcraft. getting a little sick of pushing myself so hard i guess. yeah, no 1 ever sed attending uni in japan after only 1 year of jap language edu is gonna b easy, esp when theres already such a big difference in standard between msia n japan, at least in d maths field. but when i came here i was determined 2 fight. now, sumting feels drained out of me....dun feel so motivated anymore sumhow......even tho i keep telling myself theres only 1 month left 2 go so i MUST push on....

blame it on d weather i guess. n according 2 forecast, still 1 whole week of fxxking rainy weather ahead. duno y i'd always been so sensitive 2 d weather anyway. n yeah, i wasnt affected by rain during spring, autumn or winter. guess its becuz only rain in summer gives d same kind of gloomy oppressive feeling dat rain used 2 give me back in msia.


neways. nothing of particular interest but....1 of d movies i watched recently was 'love actually'. its actually quite old n ive had quite a few recommendations 2 watch it b4, tho i only recently acquired it (thru d 'usual' malaysian way of course :P). u guys noe how i hate romantic movies after all. anyway it was my 1st time watching it (i neva watch movies twice 4 dat matter) n yet it was oddly tinged wif...hazy nostalgia. made me think of stuff dat happened long ago. n i cant help but marvel at d way time passes n ppl change, yet d past remains so firmly anchored in memories......

damn, anyway, note 2 self: avoid romantic stories like the plague. at best they're a waste of time n at worse they're demoralizing n sets u thinking bout stuff dat dun hv relevance anymore. n u cant hv dat when u'r trying so hard 2 live in d present.